i want to scream and shout at the very top of my voice. i make myself so infuriated that sometimes i just despair.
“i had the priveledge and honour of looking her in the eyes and i got to say to her, ‘you dont embarrass me’..”
this will makes no sense to anyone, i just had to type it.
i’ve been really moved over the last couple of days after looking on the “to write love on her arms” website. here is a link to the website with their vision and story behind the setting up of the charity.
i know i’m not the only one who has sat in tears after reading the story behind it all.
tomorrow is “to write love on her arms day”… i can imagine people all over the world will be writing “love” on their arm. below is a description of why people will be writing it…
“To Write Love On Her Arms Day is a day where anyone can write the words love on their arms, to support those who are fighting against depression and those who are trying to recovering. On this day, just write love on your arms, and show it off, other people will ask why you have love written on your arms, and you tell them you are supporting to write love on her arms day, and how its benefiting a non profit organization helping stop depression, and make love the movement ♥ “
i wish i’d discovered this before yesterday.
casey calvert was in hawthorne heights, who i went to see a very long time ago.
i rarely watch the news, which is a bit lame… but tonight after work i was chilling out watching it and some stuff about the war in afghan came on… obviously appropriately timed because its nearly rememberence day.
but i got scared. the whole reality of it hit home because i already have a few friends out there, and a really close friend set to go out in 2011. apparently this year was the worst for deaths since 1982.
i’m scared to one day find out bad news, but i guess i would also be incredibly proud of my friends. mixed feelings.
am completely and utterly desperate for friends the same kinda age as me here. before i go absolutely insane.
vicious cycle.
get sad and upset…. eat food… get sad and upset because of the effects food have…. get more upset.
how do i get less upset?!
i dont usually enjoy public transport in london that much, especially the tube. because everyone else is rushing about, i tend to pick up on that and run around like a headless chicken even if i’m not in a rush to be anywhere.
today i went to oxford street and actually enjoyed the whole trip in and out of central london. i sat on the tube listening to music and thinking, reading my book and just generally people watching.
good day off (:
i’m sat in the office, in floods of tears looking back at africa stuff and craving to go back.
have decided to make a list of “alternative gifts” from the grassroots website ( alternative gifts – Grassroots Trust ) and get young people at youth club to vote on which thing we should collect money for. these gifts vary from flip flops at £2 each to buying a pregnant cow for £250.
hopefully good decisions come from it and because they’ve been part of the choosing process, they are motivated to help raise money.
it’s only honest to say i’ve been struggling since i started working in london. i know i’ve been around for over a year now… but in september this place became “home” which scares me a lot. i really really left behind my friends and family and moved here.
i feel very blessed to have a few people here who have really welcomed me into their families. the thought of spending christmas potentially by myself was horrifying. i mentioned it and got the immediate response of “there is no way you’ll be by yourself at christmas, you’ll with us”
i came up with this idea to find my “happy place” whenever i got sad.
last night i found another happy place. last night i laughed until it hurt and i couldnt breathe. i haven’t laughed like that in a long time. and i think Jesus likes it when we laugh like that. genuine laughter… the most lovely thing about it is that its generally young people that make me laugh that much. i think i maybe looked a bit bad for laughing cos it wasn’t really right timing… but it renewed my soul.
i’ve come away feeling refreshed by crazy people who sing hilariously on purpose and put icing sugar round their mouth and look ridiculous. it’s funny how that also has made me incredibly positive to go to work today. i think it’s the start of a chain reaction… (:
a week today is my 21st birthday. yesterday the mother, father and little sister came to visit. i’m quite fortunate that my dad is a bit of a handyman and he did some jobs. now i have a nice work top thing to put my microwave oven on rather than a rickety old table. i have a new lampshade. i have a functioning shower…
annnd i also got an early birthday present in the form of a brand new ipod nano, one of the ones with a camera on. i dont really see the point in making videos on it.. but maybe one day it will come in handy.
i feel very fortunate to have a pretty constant stream of friends coming to visit over the next while. on saturday kayleigh and em are joining me in london for the night for birthday drinks and fun times, and next weekend amber is coming to stay for 3 nights! i’m very excited.
tomorrow i also go back into Past Times to work. i started last week before the shop had opened and am hoping it isnt tooo hectic tomorrow.
now back to work…
